Wednesday, December 2, 2015

8. When One Door Closes, Another One Opens-Personal Narrative

One minute I was looking at him from ten feet away and the next thing I knew he was practically sitting on my head. The only reason my brothers asked me to “play” basketball with them was so they could dunk on me, but I guess I didn’t really mind it—any excuse to be included in whatever my older brothers were doing I took advantage of.
It was a Thursday night and we were on W Lexington Avenue. We had just passed the huge, brick house that stood about 100 feet from the road with the horses that roamed freely within the white picketed fence which meant we were just a few minutes away. It was an unusually silent car ride from our house to the school. I can’t believe she’s making me do this. I wish she would just turn the car around. As we pulled into the parking lot I instantly felt my stomach twisting into a knot. My mother pulled up right in front of the gym doors and said, “I know you don’t want to do this but you’ll be glad you did and you’ll thank me for this some day. Just go have fun and remember to be positive; your attitude about it will determine how well it goes. I love you!” I remember thinking as I got out of the car, this is going to be awful and embarrassing, there’s no way it could be fun.
The only times I ever played basketball was with my two older brothers but that was just outside in the driveway, and I would hardly call it basketball because it resulted in me either getting dunked on or my shots getting blocked. I was a gymnast—that’s all I ever did and that’s what I was good at; I loved it. But I had to stop doing gymnastics because of an injury. I remember the day I had to tell my coaches; the sky was covered with cloud, and the sun was fighting to make itself seen. When I saw the disappointment on my coaches faces I couldn’t help but feel a bit of doubt. Is this really what I want to do. No, but it’s the best thing for me to do.
“I’m sorry to see you go. There’s not many girls that I’ve enjoyed coaching as much as I have with you.” Thanks Coach. As if I wasn’t already reconsidering my decision. “It’s a shame though. You are very talented, and I saw so much potential.” And that just reconfirmed my decision.
 I remember feeling incomplete—like there was a missing piece from the puzzle when I walked out of the gym for the last time. I had spent four hours a day, six days a week in that gym. All of my best friends came from doing gymnastics together, and now I wouldn’t be spending everyday with them. What was I going to do with my life? That Was my life.
. . .
“Why don’t you try basketball? I think you would like it,” said Mother noticing I had been sprawled out on the couch for the past hour and a half bored out of my mind. “You would be really good at it, too!”
“Even if I wanted to, it’s too late to start playing basketball now.” It was true, I was in sixth grade and just like I had been doing gymnastics since I was fours years old, everyone playing basketball had been playing since they were little and would be way more advanced and skilled than me. I couldn’t possibly catch up to the skill level they are at.
“I bet you would pick it up really fast. You’re athletic and you already know some of the basics from playing with your brothers.” Yeah, I know how to stand under the basket so they can jump over me to dunk, and I know how to catch the ball when it drops out of the net to throw it back to them. “Don’t let the thought of not being as good as the other girls to begin with keep you from trying it.”
I’m a very competitive person so when I do certain things, I don’t like the feeling of being the worst person at it. The thought of having to start at the bottom again was not particularly motivating. It’s not that I didn’t like basketball, I just wasn’t very good at it because I had never really practiced it. I wanted to play but I wanted to be the best at it from the beginning.
“Alliecqwea! Wanna come shoot some hoops with me?” No not really. “Come on, I’m surprised your butt hasn’t fallen off from sitting on it so much lately.”
“Ha. Ha. Real funny Deddy.”
A few weeks later, after we had finished eating dinner, my father summoned me to his office where he and my mother sat. There was an eerie feeling as I walked into the room; I could just tell I wasn’t going to like what they had to say. Nonetheless, I had predicted correctly. “We have spent some time thinking about it and agree that you should try basketball. If you try it and don’t like it then you don’t have to continue it but you have to at least put a valiant effort into it.”
The first thing I see when I walk into the gym is everyone gathered together, talking, laughing and playing together. Great, they’re all really good friends and have obviously known each other for a long time and I don’t know anyone. As if I wasn’t already nervous about not having friends. They’re all dressed in basketball shorts, practice jerseys and really nice basketball shoes. Me? What was I wearing? Chunky, old basketball shoes and my brother’s old basketball shorts with one of his old YMCA basketball t-shirt.
“All right, everyone grab a ball and line up on the elbow, we’re gonna start practice with some elbow shooting,” instructed Coach. What’s the elbow? And what is elbow shooting? I had no idea what was going on and I seemed to be the only one. But was that the worst it got? Nope. The rest of the practice consisted of all the girls knowing what was going on and me tagging along behind them trying to figure it out. Imagine being three years old in a huge grocery store wondering around in complete panic and terror because you lost your mom and everyone around is staring at you. It was awful and humiliating. It took everything in me to hold back the water in my eyes from falling down my face the whole practice.
“Hey sweetheart, what happened?” my mom said as she saw the tears weld up in my eyes as I got in the car.
 “I don’t like basketball, and I’m terrible at it,” I sobbed, letting out the tears because I couldn’t hold then back any longer.
Well going to just one practice and not liking it wasn’t enough to convince my parents that I had put a valiant effort into it and to let me stop. In fact, I had to finish out the season before I could make my decision.
The next few months were really hard for me. I could see in my mother’s soft blue eyes that is hurt her to see me struggling—she just wanted to make everything better. She wished she could take away the pain and frustration and give me the skills. But she and my father knew me better than I knew myself. They knew I wanted to play, they knew I just had to put in a lot of practice and they knew that once I did, I would be grateful for it.
. . . .
Friday, February 27th, 2015- Senior Night. Tonight I will play my last home basketball game of my high school career. Memories come flooding back to me as I look at all the senior displays, consisting of photo collages from the very first year I started playing, trophies and metals. I’ve come a long way. I wouldn’t be the person I am today if it hadn’t been for my parents pushing me towards what I didn’t know I wanted at the time. What a blessing it was being chosen to represent the All-County Team, All-Conference Team and chosen as the Most Valuable Player. Yes, by working hard I got to the point where I didn’t feel behind in my skill level compared to everyone else but that’s not even the best part. Through my journey, I fell in love with the sport that I used to despise because I wasn’t any good at it. I learned the meaning of hard work, dedication, team work, persistence, time-management, leadership, and so much more. Basketball has helped shaped my life.
“I’ve enjoyed watching you play over the years. I am tremendously proud of the class and character you’ve exhibited on the court and of the heart and passion you always played with.”

“Thank you, Mom and Dad, for giving me something I’ve grown to love and something that has taught me so much.”

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